Andy's StoryTime
Interactive Storytelling

Sweat Dreams

Story Beginning:
The streets are quite on a warm summer morning. Floyd has just turn his Barber Shop pole on and has come out to sit on the bench in front of his shop. To his right, storming down the street is Ben Weaver. Floyd looks up "Mornin' Ben." Ben briefly stares down and with a "Humph!!!" heads for the courthouse.
Mr. Weaver storms into the courthouse causing Barney to fling his coffee into the air; startled by such an early visitor. Andy looks up ,equally surprised, and greets Mr. Weaver warmly. " Well. hello Ben, what seems to be the trouble? " " I'll tell you what the trouble is, it's them Scolbie's again: they're late on the rent and this time I want you to serve them their eviction notice post haste!" " And no funny business this time, don't try to be a hero, just do your job! " 1 What seems to be the problem Ben? Last I heard you and Mr. Scolby were getting along just fine. As a matter of fact, as I recall you even refused to let him go fishing with us because you said you couldn't spare him down at the store. "Well that was then and this is now, and darn foundit Andy! Don't you change the subject on me now I want action what do you plan on doing about them Scolbies?" 2

Well Ben, I reckon your just have to come down to the Court House and fill out some paperwork. It might take a little while thought cause I don't like rushin into things. 3

Now Andy, we've been through all this before and I'm not gonna be tricked into letting things go this time. And I sure as heck ain't waitin around for no shenanigans like your bake sales or rummage sales to go raisin money for that Scolby bunch. You serve them the notice now, you hear?! 4

Andy pats Ben on the shoulder. "Come on, Ben. If I evect the Scolbies, where's his young 'uns gonna sleep? And how about Mrs. Scolby? Didn't you tell me she made the best tater pie this side of Mount Pilot? Now if I evect them, how's she gonna make any more tater pie? Huh?"  Ben pushes Andy's hand off his shoulder. "That ain't my problem, sheriff. Now, are you gonna do your duty or do I have to go to the mayor?" Barney steps up to Ben Weaver. "Yeah, how's she gonna..."  Ben snaps back, cutting Barney off. Barney looks surprised. Ben goes nose to nose with Barney. "You stay out of this, deputy." Barney backs up, snifs and fidgets around before sitting down in his chair next to Andy's desk.  Andy opens the courthouse door to show Ben out. "I'll handle it, Ben. You just go about your business and let me do mine." He closes the door behind Ben and turns to Barney. "That man is mean to the bone."  Barney pats his empty gun in the holster. "Well, he's lucky he left when he did or I'd have..."
Andy smirks. "He'd kill ya." 5

Before Barney has a chance to respond, Opie comes running in, all out of breath. "Come quick pa, Ben's on the ground. I think someone threw a rock at him" said Opie. Andy and Barney stand up, face each other and say, "... 6

As they rush to Ben's aid they find Mr. Scolby fleeing away from the scene yelling "Don't yo go eatin no more of my tater pie" 7

Barney runs to help Mr. Foley up, while Andy chases down Mr. Scolby. After a short chase Mr. Scolby gives up. Andy asks "Didn't you learn your lesson the first time, now why is it that you're late on your mortgage payment again." "Sherriff, ever since I got that job down at Weaver's he's not givin' me any more money and I don't even get a discount on the stuff I buy from him for my family." About this time Barney gets to Ben and tries to help him up, Ben looks at Barney and says "What are you lookin' at deputy, Go help that sherriff arrest Scolby!"8

Andy says to Scolby, "You're in a heap of trouble, hitting Ben in the head like might have really hurt him!"
Scolby's expression changes to fear and he says, "Andy, I didn't hit Ben, something dropped from the sky and hit him...honest!" Opie was listening to the whole conversation. Upon hearing that, he looks up the telephone pole nearby, points to the top, and says, "Look, it's ..." 9 Mr. McBeevee, Paw!!" 10 Opie yells up to the man on the pole, "Hey, Mr. McBeevee! It's Opie!" Mr. McBeevee stops what he's doing, looks down and adjusts his hard hat, and says, "Well, so it is!" He starts down the pole, and Opie is excited. "Look, paw - Mr. McBeevee is coming down to see us!" 11 weellll, he sure is. And he's jingling jest like you said opie. 12

Then Andy said, "you know, I reckon the best fan we have is that Pam lady from Indiana." 13 "Yeah, Paw. You recon she drinks Sanka brand coffee?" "Well, I can't see why not, Opie. After all, Sanka is 97% caffeine free."

"Hey Andy, ain't 'caffeine' spell't 'caffiene'?" "Nawh, nawh..don't you remember that rule 'I before E except after C and I before E in caffiene." "Oh yeah, I always ways am forgetting those rules." 14 Then Andy says, " Barn, I reckon this ain't no time to be worrying 'bout spellin', we need to have a chat with Mr. MacBeevy 15 I don't believe I know Mr. McBeevie, Barney responded. Oh, yeah, you didn't meet'em but I saw him in Foster's Woods one evenin. He was walking around in the tops of trees jingling like Opie said he could. Although, he won't gettin much work done because Ernest T. Bass was athrowin rock at'em cause he wasa messin up the possum hunt. 16 Meanwhile Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge, Lt. Commander Data, and Lt. Reginald Barclay are mysteriosly transported to Mayberry, NC from the Enterprise-E. Barney Fife finds them and escorts the to jail on the charge of loitering. Andy find about this and releases them and invites them to go fishing with him and Opie. 17

Otis, on the other hand, mysteriously steps into a temporal flux and ends up on the Enterpise-E. Unware, he finds himself walking to the brig in is usual intoxicated state and passes out on the brig floor. Meanwhile, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Commander William T. Riker are inspecting the Enterprise, with the security chief, Lieutenant Lavalle in the brig area. Suddenly, Commander Riker, notices Otis on the brig floor passed out and Picard yells, "Q!!!" In a flash of light, Q appears in a Starfleet admiral's uniform and says, "Jean-Luc, you called?" 18

Finally, Otis comes to. Scratching his head he says, "That was either the wierdest dream I ever had, or I am going to have to stop drinking from that vase...

19 but ottis's nightmare was just Beginning..... to him it was a dream..... just like driving his car off the bridge.He kept waitting to wake up.....praying too... but this was a dream otis campbell needed more than water in his face. 20 Just then something started hitting Otis in the back? "Ouch!" Otis said. Then he realized, he was in a cloth bag of some kind? Something struck him again? "OUCH!" Then Otis saw the opening of his "cell" and began to open the bag in which he was enclosed. A laundry bag!! Oh no!! There was "Bloody Mary", the keeper of "THE ROCK," also known as Aunt Bee.

She stood there with a broom in her hands and asked Otis if he'd finished his work there at "THE ROCK". Otis' only answer was, "No" and he waited to hear those words he'd be trying to escape....."SNAP TO IT!!" 21 "SNAP TO IT!!!! He thought .... "if only i could get to the old rimshaw place.... i wouldnt ever see bloody mary again" 22 Meanwhile, back at the courthouse Andy is trying to sort out how Ben Weaver got hit in the head with a rock. Scolbie swears he didn't hit Ben. Sure, Ben's a penny pincher that can only be roused to kindness under the most compelling circumstance, but, people in Mayberry just don't go around hittin' their fellow citizes int eh head. Mr. McBeeveecan't really figure out how he would have done it ether. No one saw Ernest T. Bass standing around the corner giggling insanely. Ernest had been refused credit at Weaver's Department Store earlier in the day and just had to get even. "It's me,It's me,It's Ernest T",Ernerst screams while jumping up and down "and if i dont get any credits ats youns store, i,ma gunna bust every winder in town". Now Barny and Andy look at each other and Andy says to Barny, "He sure is a curious one" and Barny responds "He's a nut" 24

Andy: "Ernest T., I've told you dozens of times that you don't go round throwing rocks, and then bricks, at windows. Now you're throwing at people and I'm gonna have to throw the book at you." Ernest T.: "That's alright sheriff 'cause you never did figger out how easy it wuz fer me to get outta jail. And besides, books is soft and would hurt me atall!" 25

Andy: "What you mean WOULD hurt you?" Ernest T.: "Aw sheriff, you know I can't spell nuthin, much less wouldn't! And besides you tole me I wasn't stupid, just ignorant!" 26 As Andy got Ernest T. into the cell, Barney came in and said, "Ange, guess what happened!" "Aawww, Barney." "Come on, Ange. You'll never believ it." Andy:"Well..." Barney, "Boy, oh boy, right'cheer in Mayberry. Well, are you gonna guess or not?" Andy:"Barney, can't you see I'm busy arresting Ernest T.?" Just then, the courthouse door swung open. Barney grins, and Andy looks shocked."Mrs. Lesh!"

27 Andy said, "Mrs. Lesh...are you okay? You look a bit flushed." The woman, out of breath and with a slightly mussed up head of hair replied, "Andy!!

My husband came back from the grave and now he's in cahoots with Ernest T. They're throwin' rocks at everyone in Mayberry." Andy smiled and crossed his arms and said, "Awwww, Mrs. Lesh. you know your husband never really died."

Then she said, "He and Ernest T. were shoutin' at the top of their lungs, 'FIRST MAYBERRY, THEN THE WORLD!!' I think they're plannin' on takin' over the world with rocks!!!" 28

Meanwhile, just outside an open window at the Taylor home, Ernest T. Bass and Mr.Lesh are whispering. Ernest T. begins to howl like a coyote. As Aunt Bea runs to the window to find out what all that howlin' is about, Mr. Lesh sneaks in the back door, where he finds Otis Cambell doing dishes.

"What in the world..." Otis exclaims. "We're here to bust you out of the ROCK, pal!" answers Mr. Lesh. 29

Mr. Scolby suddenly sat straight up in bed, and wiped the sweat from his head and said "That was the weirdest dream I ever had. It was like an episode of The twilight Zone. I don't know why I dreamed it I paid the mortgage payment this morning." Mr. Scolby laid back down, and slept peacefully the rest of the night. 30


1. I Love This Stuff! ( on Sunday, November 02, 1997.
2. Were'd everybody go !!!! ( on Thursday, December 18, 1997.
3. JimBob from IP on Thursday, December 18, 1997.
4. Barney's Home Town (GM2229! on Friday, January 02, 1998.
5. Jim, the guitar player ( on Sunday, January 25, 1998.
6. Newcomer ( on Wednesday, February 25, 1998.
7. fatman ( on Wednesday, March 04, 1998.
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30. A big fan from IP on Saturday, March 06, 1999.

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